Interdependence Day

(published 7/4/20, edited on 7/2/24)

by Astara

On and around the Fourth of July, many in our country explode fireworks to celebrate freedom.

A few weeks ago, the black community celebrated Juneteenth, also called Emancipation Day, reflecting a powerful moment in the lives of Black people when they were formally freed on June 19, 1865 — almost three years after the Emancipation Proclamation. (Read more at the blog post Othering and Belonging) President Joe Biden signed a bill on June 17, 2021, making Juneteenth a federal holiday commemorating the emancipation of enslaved African Americans. It is the eleventh American federal holiday and the first to obtain legal observance as a federal holiday since Martin Luther King Jr. Day was designated in 1983. (wikipedia)

Although every corner of our planet is filled with news of violent war, there is also an uprising of heartful wisdom blossoming across the country. A heart-centered uprising has been here all along — even alongside gender repression, ethnic cleansing, and slavery for hundreds of years now. We know in our core we have much work to do still, yet take a moment to realize that much work has been done to bring centuries of suppression and oppression to the surface.

Today I invite you to join Orion and I — as well as millions in our country —in a new approach for this week’s national holiday. We must continue to educate ourselves about the true history of how we got to where we are, reveal the inequality that is woven into the fabric of our country, and evolve our awareness of what freedom is and can be. I know it starts with a move from a paradigm of independence towards one of interdependence. That is why we at Illuminating Hearts join so many when we choose to call our national July 4th holiday: Interdependence Day.

So, what is the difference between independence and interdependence?

Independence as we have been taught in our culture is actually an unhealed reaction to heartbreak, loss, and scarcity. Independence is rooted in fear of vulnerability — including a fear of feelings and receiving. A sure sign of independence is dissociation from difficult feelings as a protective measure against vulnerability and intimacy. That is why independence ultimately translates as lack of connection and commitment to others. Independence is a laboratory for the power struggle and competition we know so well in our country.

Interdependence is a state where we accept our needs and feelings and learn tools of regulation for our human fears which leads to healthy connection and belonging. When we let ourselves embody our natural and beautiful human vulnerable feeling states, we can reach out for connection to accept others in vulnerability. Interdependence reflects our willingness to not be afraid of painful feelings, including our own and others’ needs. Interdependence reflects that we have learned tools to navigate our trauma triggers and repair relational ruptures. That is why interdependence is rooted in emotional intelligence reflecting an ability to care for self and others. Interdependence relies on our capacity to hold difficulty. Capacity or capacitance brings us back to an electrical metaphor, befitting the electromagnetic field we are made of, that connects us in an electromagnetic universe. When we build enough circuitry inside our bodies and field to hold discomfort and paradox, we can begin to accept others in their differences too. We develop the capability to respond to life events without running away.

Currently our world is filled to the brim with toxic independence as seen in outward signs and symptoms of defensiveness, reactivity, and even violence rooted in separation and fear. That is why it is easy to be distracted by the idea that freedom is found outside us. That freedom is something we have to fight for, earn, or gain externally. I/we will be free when they act differently or they change their policy, behavior, and rules. In my years of learning, I have discovered the opposite is true: freedom is available in each moment.

Yet it is up to each of us individually to choose and create. As I healed my life, the universe revealed the creative juicy goodness of interdependence. Life is way more benevolent, generous, and expansive than I had originally been taught! I now know that everything is energy. Another way to say it? Everything is comprised of the very same divine Spirit we think we are praying to for help or support. Each of our souls came here to experience every single detail in order to learn, no matter how challenging or joyful those details are. Thus, my biggest lesson to date is that freedom is not something obtained outside of me.

Yep, it’s true. The power lies inside of each of us to claim freedom in our lives.

The first step towards freedom is to understand that you are a creator in your life. You create with vibrational resonance. You are in vibratory accord with everything you see. Even the not so fun stuff. Eeep.

Accord or “a chord” like playing a piano or guitar. 🎹

Words, thoughts, and perception all have the power to claim something into manifestation. It could not be there without all of us in agreement, individually or collectively. If you call a man stupid, you have made him so. If you call a woman ugly, you have made her so. If you call certain people evil, you have made them so. When you decide something is worthy, you have made that thing worthy. It is as if your personality or “small self” holds directives every minute of every day and voila, you have a shared construct. And most of us call that reality without any question or thought otherwise. Our life is built walking around on this Earth thinking our beliefs about the world around us, and deciding what will be and what is real based on the data we have inherited unconsciously.

Your True Self sees that man you called stupid as holding intelligence you may not understand, and perceives that woman you call ugly as beautiful. Your Soulful Self sees beyond fear, and sees that the people you thought were evil hold inherent good that seeks to be realized. What I am talking about here is the realization of the Divine in all things.

The author Jack Canfield tells of his therapist that gave him an “ah hah” moment with a simple equation: E + R = O. Which means “event” plus “response” equals “outcome.” Many events happen in our lives that trigger us, shock us, sadden us, create immense whelm, and seem beyond our control. Although we can’t predict the “event” that comes our way from our small self, at a deeper level we are and have vibrationally created and aligned to that event. This is not to be hard on ourselves, but to take responsibility as a creator and decide what we want to create. If we wake up, we have the power to choose our “response.” When we realize that we can choose to respond in a way that is inclusive, authentic and loving no matter what event is unfolding, then freedom begins. When we choose to see the divinity in all things, we are set free. When we align to freedom and conscious awareness, then the outcome shifts before our very eyes. When we discover that nothing is happening to us, it is actually happening for us (to seek realization of our inherent divinity), freedom begins.

In Sanskrit there is a mantra that summarizes it well: Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu which translates as “May all beings everywhere be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all.”

How do you align to freedom? How do you respond consciously instead of react unconsciously? Your permission is required. Permission to release the ideas that you have held that have operated out of fear. You cannot be free if you stay aligned with fear. Period.

First, ask your True Self or Higher Self to merge with you so you can connect to your loving adult. A great way to do this is say out loud, “I am here. I am here. I am here.” This is your True Self saying those words. When you say them, you begin to align to the truth that is always there and welcome your loving adult to the drivers seat.

Now, let your fear know that it is seen. Slow your breath down, get quiet, listen to the sensations of your body, put your hand on your heart to feel its rhythm, and ask what it needs most. Get to know it. What you are really doing is connecting with you as a young self in a specific fear from a traumatic event or pattern, or freeing an important human archetype that is trying to protect the little one inside. We are not here to denigrate or deny fear, we are here to listen and let the fear know we see it.

Next, curate safety for your fear. Now that you know what it needs, take action on behalf of that fear. If it asks for something you are not sure how to give, get creative. It can be super simple and easy. More often than not, it is simple acknowledgement that makes your fear feel safe.

Now, soothe your fear through positive feelings. In addition to taking action on behalf of your fear, think of something that brings you joy or that you are grateful for. The simple act of slowing down, breathing, choosing delight out of nowhere, and connecting to your body, creates chemical and energetic coherence between your mind, heart and gut; it allows you to drop into the wisdom that lies inside you. When you inhabit your own center, you do not experience the shadow effect of the mind where duality and contrast is created. The heart is the source of the highest concentration of energy that you are (which is light), so no shadow or polarity is cast from your experience when you root there. When you soothe yourself positively and on purpose, you can release old toxic soothing patterns!

Next, consciously claim freedom. This aligns you to the vibration of truth and love. Say out loud, “I am free. I am free. I am free.” This is your True Self saying those words. Another way to strengthen this alignment to your own power — or divinity — is to listen to beautiful music or sing. This is why we create our Sound Alchemy sessions, so that we can lift you in vibration to align with your Divine Self and step into freedom! (Listen to our Sound Alchemy Recording: Freedom or subscribe and listen on Patreon)

Freedom is knowing our truth, power, belonging, and worthiness has been inside us all along.

We have the freedom to choose our response to the events in our lives. This is where our true power lies. To decide no matter what happens, we will practice love and compassion from our wise center. It could take you 5 minutes, 5 days, 5 months, or 5 years or even decades to move from reactivity to such a loving and free response. You have your whole life to practice choosing freedom like this from within. As I wrote about in my book How the Stars Tell Time, the future is relational. So once you claim freedom in this new way, you can relate to yourself and the world in beautiful new paradigm ways. You set others free. ✨🌎✨

This interdependence day, we wish for you to remember how free you are and can be right now. We wish for you to move into the richness of life inside you which invites such beautiful intimacy and connection from that centered place. Develop a sense of inner reflection to feel seen. Curate regions of safety in your world. Learn to accept your needs and feelings and soothe them. From there you can choose your response to each event. Let it be a compassionate one. It will liberate you and your world. Take loving action on behalf of lifting all beings to freedom. Happy Interdependence Day. ❤️ 🤍 💙

May all beings everywhere be happy and free. ✨🌎✨

Work with Astara and Orion for 1:1 private support.
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