by Astara
From our first tour stop on May 11th at the incredible Pranam Yoga Shala in OM-aha, to our last tour stop on at Shree Yoga Taos, in Taos, New Mexico, we explored, made sound, listened, collaborated, connected, learned, and adventured our way across the west on our 2018 Be Hear Now tour. We ultimately wound down the end of the tour pulling into our driveway at home-aha 46 days later on June 25th. We drove 6,192 miles, crossed 10 states, landed at 14 tour stops and facilitated 16 events.
We had so many wonderful happenings blossom in our world on tour. We met so many incredible souls. Amidst it all, the real magic happened in the gift of friction.
Just like the beautiful sounds we discover in our instruments, the gift of any situation is where the metaphorical friction mallet meets the face of the gong.
Friction Mallet
A friction mallet is a rubber superball on a stick. When it rubs the gong, it makes very wild and amazing sounds that can mimic a cello or singing. After a Sound Alchemy session many ask about when “I heard the whale sing.”
We like to call that haunting beautiful cosmic sound the space whale, because it emulates both the ocean and space. Just as song is revealed in the musical friction of mallet to gong, similarly the lessons we bring back from the road bring their own sweet melody of growth.
Gift of Friction
“Gift of friction?” you may ask. Yes, friction is a gift.
Consider this metaphor for a moment: everything is born of friction. Friction will occur at any place where two surfaces come into contact with each other, all the way down to the cellular level. Friction is another word for entropy, and according to physicist Carlo Rovelli, it is entropy that creates what we call time.
Heat and kinetic energy is an expression of the vitality of life that comes from molecular friction. Without any thought or effort on our part, this quantum level friction is the force that makes up all of life.
Some friction can be a challenge. In my previous life as an architect, I worked with mechanical engineers calculating water flow. They would aim to reduce energy loss through friction in piping for better material and energy conservation.
In other cases, the benefits of friction helps slow things down or find solid ground. Friction gives us much needed traction on the road, through our rubber tires or rubber-soled shoes, or helping our feet and tires grip. Otherwise, we would be ‘slip-slidin away’ more often than not.
“We must fiercely resist the idea that true love must mean conflict-free love, that the course of true love is smooth. It’s not. The course of true love is rocky and bumpy at the best of times. That’s the best we can manage as the creatures we are. It’s no fault of mine or no fault of yours; it’s to do with being human. And the more generous we can be towards that flawed humanity, the better chance we’ll have of doing the true hard work of love.” – Alain De Botton
Friction in Relationship
At one pivotal point on the road, many days into our trip, Orion and I had already experienced small earthquakes and frictions in our path: in our relatedness, with tour collaborators, and even some Airbnb hosts. After a build up of many days of such small frictions, we could feel a strange exhaustion — not directly related to sleep. Around day 39 of the 46 day trip, we sat down at our Airbnb in Sedona, Arizona, faced each other at a table so we could see each others eyes, and began to have a heart to heart about the “who we are” in that moment.
It was difficult to have a reverent and deep conversation in the car, because eyes are always aimed forward, away from each other. We smiled to ourselves at some of the unorthodox tools we used to help us through days of built-up friction. We passed back and forth a four inch bundle of Vetiver root like a talking stick to each other, deeply inhaling — as if our lives depended on it — the sweet smell of the plant root when a big juicy emotion rose to the surface to be felt.
From an energy perspective, friction occurs whenever high-frequency energy meets low-frequency energy. The truth of you is made of the same non-formal, non-physical, non-structured energy that makes up the whole universe, which is high frequency energy. When you come into this world, you compress all that non-formal energy into the density of this physical reality – causing friction to occur.
This friction manifests in the physical world as disagreements with loved ones, disappointments in certain situations, moments when things aren’t going the way we intended, or discomfort or pain in our body. In that moment, we have an invitation to come to know who we are. In the reflections of what is frustrating or uncomfortable we can notice “I am not that” or “that doesn’t align with me” or “I don’t like that” or “I am scared to allow that”. And through that resistance and contrast, suddenly our truth can bubble to awareness through a process of elimination.
Get On-purpose with Friction
We at Illuminating Hearts know that friction is our friend, whether on tour helping us create intentional music in our ‘cathedral of sound’, or in our daily lives at home and in the world.
Friction is an invitation to grace as much as it is to song. If we can lean into the music of friction with wild-humility and self-compassion (with bonus points for humor), that tender grace grows.
Eventually, when we can feel ourselves in the core of our being without having to create that resistance in the outside world, in order to identify and know who we are, we begin to create less friction. And through inner bonding, meditation, sound healing, and energy practices, we can develop and respect that knowing of core-self. This is how we become a song of love in the world.
We invite you to see the friction in your life in a whole new way. Embrace friction as your friend. You just might find yourself.
Recommended resources:
Explore the gift of friction in our Project Awakening course collection inside our powerful and life-changing Inner Space Academy.
If you want to learn more about the truth of friction in relationship, we recommend listening to this On Being podcast with Alain De Botton interviewed by Krista Tippett.
